I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
