dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
