I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
