My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
