This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
