i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
