And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
