New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
did you just send me my own nude
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he high fived his dick after we had sex
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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