Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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