I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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