i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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