We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
