too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize