You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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