Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
