I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
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So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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