Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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