when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
