ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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