yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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