Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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