why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
please come you make the beer taste better
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
