it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
