So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
from now on my penis is your penis
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
