1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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