Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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