whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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