its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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