On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
