what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
