I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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