remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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