I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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