He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
