i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
