Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize