i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
