she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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