Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You did what with his pubic hair?
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