walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
