No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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