I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
