oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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