The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
