his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
