We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
