so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
