i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
