we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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