Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
