I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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