You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
