I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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