Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize