just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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