how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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