I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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