Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize