Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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