I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
