I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
