We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
