Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
