every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
