Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
