He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
