As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
